笑话大全

Q:HowmanyDemocratsdoesittaketochangealightbulb?
A:None."Wellit'snotreallyaquestionofshouldwechangeitorshouldwenotchangethelightbulb,butmoreaquestionof...(blahblahwaffle)"
A:Two-onetodoitandtheothertokeepthefirstone'skneefromjerking.


Q:HowmanyDemocraticpresidentialcandidatesfrom1988didittaketoscrewinalightbulb?
A:(MikeDukakis)InMassachusetts,myenlightenedgovernmenthasmadeitunnecessaryforpeopletoscrewintheirownlightbulbs,aswehaveputthousandsofformerwelfarerecipientstoworkfortheDept.ofLightBulbInstallation.Theseemployeeswillcometoyourhomeorbusinessandinstallanyincandescentbulb,ononlyafewmonthsnotice.
A:(BruceBabbitt)It'sfoolishtotalkaboutscrewinginlightbulbswhenwehaven'teventakenthefirststep,andthatistoremovetheoldbulb.Ichallengemyfellowcandidatestostandupwithmeandhelpmeremovethisoldlightbulb[stands,butnobodyelsedoes]Hah!
Whatwimps.YouguysmakeBushlooklikeRambo.
A:(RichardGephart)Itdoesn'tmatterwhetherthebulbischangedornot;itonlymattersthatthenewbulbwasmadeintheUSofA.TaiwanandSouthKoreahaveputupmassivebarrierstoimportingUSlightbulbs;we'llseehowtheylikeitwhentheirbulbscost$10,000toscrewinhere.
A:(GaryHart)Thisobliquereferencetoscrewingisanobviousattempttodragmypersonallifeintothiscampaign.Frankly,Iresentit,andtheAmericanpeopleresentit.
A:(AlGore)Asusual,theotherleft-wingwackocandidatesareputtingforthsolutionsthatmoderateSouthernerswon'tcottontoonSuperTuesday.AtleastIhopenot.
A:(PaulSimon)MymediaexpertstellmeI'mfoolishforwearingmyhairthesamewayIdidinthe50's.Butthat'swhatPaulSimon'sallabout.AndIsupposemymediaexpertsaregonnasayI'mfoolishforthis,butinallcandor,IchangemylightbulbsthesamewayIdidinthe50's:mywifegetsonaladderandIturnit.
A:(JesseJackson)Changingthelightbulbisapartialsolutionatbest.I'mmoreofaLoneRangerthanalightbulbchanger.ButeventheLoneRangerhadTontoandSilver,andtheshamefulfactisthattheAmericanIndiansoftodaydon'thaveenoughsilver,orgold,orevenpapermoneytoallowthemtobuyintotheAmericanDreamorsomeextralightbulbs.WemustensurethatallAmericanscanlighttheirhomes,fromthelighthousetotheWhiteHouse.免费